Friday, August 18, 2017

I Am Above This. Truly.

Junco has put me in charge of all the "How To" articles. So join me in explaining to the world how to get things done.

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How to Make Junco Love You

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Many have tried, many have succeeded…few can stay in her good graces for long. Something to do with lies – she has an aversion to them, BTW. (Hit Girl video included just to remind you that little girl is a pansy compared to Junco!)

OK, this week’s How To with Lucan is How To Make Junco Love You. Personally, this was not difficult for me as I am exceptional in every way. She is drawn to the exceptional, as are most people. Which is why I have such a large fan following. If you’re a fan, and you know you are, feel free to five-star me at any point in this article. Here we go:

  1. Give her power – Junco, whether she admits it or not, enjoys power. That’s why she keeps that disturbing weapon docked to her body even when she’s on Earth. It’s not necessary, she just likes the power it brings.
  2. Don’t lie – although she does tend to forgive you over time, those first few days after being caught in a lie can be downright painful. She enjoys the truth, as do most people. But most people can’t save entire civilizations, so it’s nice to have her on your side. You really don’t want her vengeance in a critical moment because she caught you in a lie. So be truthful.
  3. Compliment her skills, not her looks. Although she is very beautiful. She prefers to be valued for her abilities, not her appearance.
  4. Let her save your life at least once. She likes to feel needed, so telling her not to get involved when you’re getting your ass kicked is a bad idea. She’d rather join in, so what the hell. Just go along with it.
  5. Hug her when she cries. I found this one to work exceptionally well. She enjoys a nice hug when she’s feeling down and if you add in a few tidbits about how she completes you, all the better.
  6. Let her kick your ass in an exhibition fight. Not in Deliverance, she might kill you. But as Ashur found out in training, Junco enjoys slapping you in the face with her foot and making you look bad. He did get a kiss out of her afterward, so you can’t really blame him.
  7. Talk her up with lots of future plans of revenge. Gideon did this exceptionally well when they were young and I think of all the methods, this one worked the best. She still loves that annoying asshole more than me.
  8. Treat her like an equal. This method worked for Tier. Still does. Even after he tried to fight her. Like I said, she enjoys a good fight.
  9. Invade her mind and steal her private thoughts. This was Isten’s method. Why she went along with this thievery I’ll never know, but she did. Isten stole all sorts of memories and spied on her continuously, yet she loved him more than most.

I could go on and on, after all most of the guys on the team adore her to no end. But I’m sure this is enough for now. So if you ever meet Junco, give one of these methods a try, she just might be your best friend by the time she walks away.

EDIT: to say – seriously, don’t let her kick your ass. Bad, bad idea.

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Tagged in: hit girl how to Junco Lucan

I cannot even remember where I was last year, let alone the seven thousand years prior.

Comments

  • Isten
    Isten Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    Junco loves me

    because I tell it to her straight. None of that baby-ass bullshit you guys feed her. :p

    Reply Cancel
  • Snowbird
    Snowbird Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I love you

    like a brother. :)

    Reply Cancel
  • Isten
    Isten Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    Brother?

    WTF? We spent all that time showering together, hugging on each other...

    Reply Cancel
  • Isten
    Isten Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    J/K Tier!

    :p:p:p:p:p:p

  • Tier
    Tier Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    Keep laughing, Isten

    I own you, remember? ;)

  • Ashur
    Ashur Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    She loves me

    because I don't take her shit! :)

    Reply Cancel
  • Snowbird
    Snowbird Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I love you

    even though you try to kick my ass every chance you get!! :)

    Reply Cancel
  • Sera
    Sera Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    Says the guy

    Who lets her win in a fight to make her feel good!

    Reply Cancel
  • Tier
    Tier Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I feel sorry for

    all of ya! Because I'm the only one she really loves...all ya bastards are just "friends" so get over yerselves!

    Reply Cancel
  • Snowbird
    Snowbird Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    You are my soul-mate.

    There is nothing more to say.

    Reply Cancel
  • Lucan
    Lucan Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    You keep telling

    Yourself that, Tier...

    Reply Cancel
  • Snowbird
    Snowbird Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I love you

    just as much! :) And thank you for comparing me to that awesome little Hit-Girl - she ROCKS!

    Reply Cancel
  • Lucan
    Lucan Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    BTW - I am not

    seeing five star reviews from you people. Start clicking...

    Reply Cancel
  • Esta
    Esta Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I gave you five

    Lucan. Lovely post about Junco. ;)

    Reply Cancel
  • Sera
    Sera Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    One star

    actually half a star! :p

  • Gideon
    Gideon Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    Look guys, she's

    said it over and over again. She'd choose me over every single one of you!

    Reply Cancel
  • Snowbird
    Snowbird Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I could not

    not go on without you. Please don't ever leave me or I would die. :(

    Reply Cancel
  • Esta
    Esta Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    The only thing I have

    to do to make Junco love me is be myself! :p

    Reply Cancel
  • Snowbird
    Snowbird Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    I love you

    like a sister! :p

    Reply Cancel
  • Lucan
    Lucan Tuesday, 28 August 2012

    Oh, no fair.

    I accidentally four-starred myself! Junco, un-do my star and make it five! :o

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